Bureau of Anomalous Regulation
DOC-000-17 / Anomaly Regulation Case File
CASE-1870 - "FOOD TIME"
Control Code-Modifiers
LOC
Hazard Types
T/F
Protocol
PALE HORSE
Lead Investigator
Engineer █████████ / BAR-DPC-08823
CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL
CASE-1870 is to be kept in Break Room C-7 at Bureau Facility-19. Personnel are permitted to use the device for food storage and preparation under the following conditions:
- A log of all items placed in CASE-1870 and their respective durations must be maintained on the clipboard mounted adjacent to the device.
- The device must not be left running on Setting I ("Refresh-A-Tron") for more than 72 consecutive hours without supervision.
- Items aged via Setting II ("Speed-O-Matic Zip-Zap!") must be inspected before consumption.
- No living organism is to be placed inside CASE-1870 under any circumstance.
- Both settings are not to be engaged simultaneously. See Incident CASE-1870-1.
- CASE-1870 is not to be relocated from Break Room C-7 without written approval from the Site Director.
PHENOMENOLOGICAL SUMMARY
CASE-1870 is a countertop microwave oven with design elements consistent with kitchen appliances manufactured in the mid-1950s. The device features a rounded chrome-plated exterior, analog dials, and a modified control panel bearing two settings not found on any commercial model of the period or since.
Setting I, labeled "Refresh-A-Tron," causes any organic matter placed within the device to remain in its current state of freshness for the duration of operation. The device appears to generate a localized chrono-static field in which ordinary processes of degradation are counterbalanced against real-time progression at an approximate 1:1 ratio. Standard temporal progression resumes when the device is stopped.
Setting II, labeled "Speed-O-Matic Zip-Zap!", causes any organic matter placed within the device to age rapidly, advancing approximately 5.4 months per second — accumulating to 27 years per minute of operation. Items subjected to this setting undergo the full range of natural processes (aging, fermentation, decomposition, maturation) that would occur over the equivalent period under otherwise optimal conditions.
The device draws standard mains current. No unusual emissions have been detected in operation on either setting.
NOTES & OBSERVATIONS
2021-02-09 — Notable Test Results — Engineer █████████ / BAR-DPC-08823
Initial characterization battery completed. Findings of note:
- Fresh whole milk subjected to Setting II for one minute transformed into perfectly aged hard cheese with characteristics consistent with 27-year maturation.
- A McDonald's hamburger placed on Setting I has remained in stasis for ██ months. No observable signs of degradation.
- A bottle of inexpensive table wine was exposed to Setting II for four minutes — 108 years equivalent. Dr. ██████ described the result as "transcendent" and "impossible to achieve through conventional means."
- A partially eaten yogurt container was forgotten in CASE-1870 while operating on Setting I for 17 days. It was discovered in identical condition to the moment it was placed.
2021-04-22 — Experimental Food Program — OPM Sector ██
Bureau culinary interest group, operating informally out of OPM Sector ██, initiated a controlled aging program for select food items. Initial outputs include a 27-year aged scotch produced in 60 seconds, assessed by external experts under cover story as exhibiting "perfect blending of flavor."
2021-05-03 — Memorandum (Reproduced in Full) — Office of Bureau Personnel
TO: OPM Sector ██
FROM: OBP — Administrative Compliance
RE: REQ-200-05 submission dated 2021-04-28The request to reclassify CASE-1870 from
LOCtoRES(Assigned Strategic Resource) on the grounds that the device's output constitutes "strategic capability in the domain of consumable goods" is denied.Break Room C-7 is a break room. CASE-1870 is a microwave. The continued personal use of CASE-1870 by Bureau personnel for the storage and preparation of meals does not constitute a research program, and any further attempt to formalize it as such will be referred to the Bureau Security Division.
Personnel are reminded that submission of fraudulent requisition forms is a Level I security violation.
2021-08-15 — Ancillary Temporal Effects — Engineer █████████ / BAR-DPC-08823
During routine maintenance, a fluctuation in CASE-1870's power supply caused all clocks within a 15-meter radius to synchronize and run at exactly the same rate, correcting previously undetected timing errors. The effect persisted for 72 hours before clocks returned to their standard variance. Comparable minor field-leakage events have been observed on three subsequent occasions, in each case correlated with power fluctuation rather than active use of either setting. No personnel effects have been documented from these events. Monitoring continues.
2021-11-02 — Maintenance Note — Engineer █████████ / BAR-DPC-08823
The clipboard log is being completed inconsistently. Personnel are reminded that Containment Protocol Item 1 is a containment requirement, not a courtesy. Recent entries include "lunch" (six occurrences), "the usual" (three occurrences), and one entry reading simply "?". The log exists so that the device's operational history can be reconstructed in the event of an incident. It is not optional.
DISCOVERY LOG
CASE-1870 was recovered from the basement of a decommissioned military housing complex approximately 70 km from a series of 1950s atmospheric nuclear test sites. Documentation found alongside the device included a partially burned manufacturer's manual headed "ATOMIK KITCHEN MARVELS FOR THE MODERN HOME" and a handwritten note reading:
"Time flows differently in the radiation zone. The boys from Washington say it's nothing to worry about."
The previous owner of the device, a retired Army Colonel ████████, was interviewed by ACD personnel under standard pretext. He stated that the device "came from the future that never happened" and that it "worked better during the atmospheric testing days." Further interview was not pursued; Colonel ████████ died of natural causes the following year.
No manufacturer by the name "Atomik Kitchen Marvels" has ever been registered. The manual's printed material is consistent in typography and paper stock with American consumer publications of the mid-1950s, but no surviving copy of the manual exists in any archive consulted, and the document recovered with CASE-1870 itself shows no microbial or chemical aging consistent with its apparent age.
CASE-1870 was transferred to Bureau Facility-19 for storage pending characterization. The decision to install the device in Break Room C-7 was made during a period of facility renovation when no other countertop space was available. The arrangement was intended to be temporary.
INCIDENT LOG
1987-08-21 – Incident CASE-1870-1: Dual Setting
Researcher Dawkins attempted to operate both settings simultaneously by setting the timer for three and a half minutes and manipulating the control panel mechanically while the device was active. The attempt was unauthorized and unsupervised.
CASE-1870 emitted a low-frequency hum lasting the full duration. All flat surfaces within a 30-meter radius — tables, desks, computer monitors, picture frames, the device itself — began rotating clockwise at approximately 6 RPM along their center axes parallel to the plane of each surface, regardless of size, weight, or attachment. Objects resting on the rotating surfaces did not rotate. The effect persisted for exactly three and a half minutes despite CASE-1870 being unplugged from mains power 90 seconds into the event.
Three personnel reported episodes of déjà vu (REP-600-11, Entry 11) lasting up to two weeks following the incident. Researcher Dawkins developed a condition in which his digestive system processed food in reverse. Nutrition was extracted normally. Waste matter would transform back into undigested food, which he would subsequently regurgitate in pristine, ready-to-eat condition. The condition persisted for 19 days before resolving spontaneously.
Dawkins received formal reprimand and was reassigned. Simultaneous engagement of both settings is now expressly prohibited under Containment Protocol Item 5.
2021-03-14 – Incident CASE-1870-2: Power Surge
A power surge during routine testing caused CASE-1870 to activate without any settings selected. Junior Researcher Vasquez was observing the test. For approximately 3.5 seconds, she reported seeing "every meal that had ever been or would ever be placed in the microwave."
Following the incident, Vasquez accurately predicted the contents of CASE-1870 for the subsequent two weeks, including one entry — a tuna salad sandwich placed by an analyst Vasquez had never met — recorded in her notebook eleven days before the sandwich was prepared. The precognitive faculty faded gradually and was entirely absent by the fifteenth day post-incident.
Vasquez was screened per SC-900-05 and cleared to return to full duty. She has declined to be present for any subsequent test of CASE-1870.
EVIDENTIARY ATTACHMENTS
[No attachments recorded]
End of file.